Vulnerability. The Most Overlooked Trait of Great Leaders.

Vocabulary.com describes vulnerability as, “the quality of being easily hurt or attacked”. When groups are vulnerable they are comprehended as easy targets, already defeated, or weak.

As we watch the news on all the candidates hoping to represent their parties in the American presidential election of next year, we often read of vulnerabilities of each candidate as exposed weaknesses. Ten minutes before I started writing this article I was reading one named, New Hampshire takeaways: Trump triumphant, Clinton vulnerable. Of course, vulnerable there was related to negative outcomes.

Being vulnerable is considered a fragility. It is understood by many as something to avoid or to hide.

However, that is absolute nonsense when it comes to being a leader. Vulnerability is one of the best ways to connect with your team, to practice humility, and to break the walls of comparison.

The well-known and admired current Carson-Newman University President, Dr. Randal O'Brien, is an example of how vulnerability strengthens a leader. He openly states that he seeks council to make the best decisions, and also claims that he relies on his faith and not on his knowledge to lead an organization that shapes young minds.

Let’s back this truth with solid arguments.

Connecting to Your Team with Vulnerability.

Usually, what keeps people from being vulnerable is fear. Fear of rejection, fear of shame, fear of not belonging, fear of inferiority, among uncountable others.

In an unreal TED talk by the researcher storyteller (as she describes herself) Brene Brown, courage is explained as, “…telling the story of who you are, with the whole heart”. Therefore, courage is vulnerability.

In her speech Dr. Brown shares an invaluable finding from her research. She found that people with a better sense of worthiness were also the people that thought vulnerability was necessary for their lives.

People that drop the idea of who they thought they should be, and not just embrace their flaws but also share them, usually develop deeper connections. That is because others also struggle. So, there is the characteristic of similarity. It is also because of the invitation into something private that requires trust, so they feel valued. And at last, because people recognize the discomfort of it, so it is a sacrifice for others.

Vulnerability for Humility.

You can’t be pretentious when you are authentically vulnerable. It is just not possible.

Vulnerability opens the wounds of shame. It is about recognizing the need for help, and the identity of imperfection; It is not about feeling good when comparing yourself to others, it is all about making others feel good and trust them to make you feel better when you need it. It is about giving up a mask that you have been conditioned to wear, to show what you think is a worse look underneath.

Humility is many times distorted in our society. It is almost like you have not to be content with yourself to be humble. Otherwise, you are cocky! That is a lie. You can soak compliments in, you can recognize strengths, and you can feel good about certain traits you have. However, not when comparing yourself to others because then you will lose identity.

Vulnerability gives you space to assume flaws and strengths. To be content with who you are and the process of becoming a better version of yourself. To assume your identity and work on it.

The bottom line is: Practice vulnerability to become a better leader and a better confident and yet humble person.

Enjoy the amazing video cited above:

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