Surrender the outcome
- Lucas Franco de Siqueira, Eds. Samuel Hays
- Dec 3, 2016
- 3 min read
I modeled for about three of my teenage years before soccer picked up and I had to choose where I would fully concentrate my time.
I remember going to casting calls as an inexperienced sixteen-year-old and leaving them with immediate expectations for a callback. After every casting or test, I would be anxious about a response. I was constantly hoping to be the one to get the job, so I could feel that I was better than the other hundreds that were in the same casting call or test.
Most of the times, my concentration on getting that call back was a lot higher than on the actual test. So I would miss out on giving my best in front of the directors, producers, or photographers. My focus could not have been more wrong! I am glad I was just sixteen and could learn from it...
The casting calls in which I left and forgot about results or calls were usually the ones that I ended up getting. Why is that?
Well, we do not control outcomes; obsessing about them will actually distance them from reality. Have you noticed how the students that focus more on studying usually get As a lot easier than the ones obsessing about grades? What about the boys that do not quickly fall in love for the girls? Girls often choose those guys! Have you noticed that?
I am not defending the jerks here! However, you usually see girls choosing guys that seem relaxed over the ones texting every 5 minutes!
When we keep focusing on an outcome, usually even if it happens, it seems that it took forever for it to become a reality. It is almost like waiting for a call from a person you like. You do other things and forget about it, and when it happens, it feels great! However, if you are constantly looking at your phone and not thinking about anything else, it seems that call took years!
Process over outcomes.
When we focus on outcomes, we let emotions control us instead of controlling our emotions. It usually is a path to frustration.
Focusing on the outcomes is like looking at the top of the building, but forgetting about each step of the ladder to get there. Most likely, we will trip and fall a lot in that process. Even if we eventually make to the top of the building, it was a lot slower and more painful than it could have been.
When we focus on the process, we are constantly reminded that we need to live by principles to stay present and grow a lit bit at a time. However, the focus on outcomes take principles off the table and tie emotions like fear and anxiety to desired results. Thus, we live waiting for the future and missing out on what is in front of us.
If you are serious about being successful, let go of the outcomes. When talking about this principle, Joshua Medcalf says, "In a war, we want to be by the side of the warrior that knows he can die at any time. He is not focusing on staying alive! He is focusing on the battle. He is present and not trying to control the outcome, so he is free to fight at his best."
If you concentrate on the process, you will get a little bit better every day even when you do not notice it. Then, over time, you will naturally be where you once dreamed or even in a better place. However, focusing on the outcome diminishes your gains in the present, creates resistance against the outcome becoming a reality, and will drive you crazy. You cannot control outcomes!
So, what would you rather do? Focus on your attitude, effort, and principles to look back and be proud in the future? Or, keep obsessing on one outcome while not becoming any better today to get there?
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