How miserable would I be if I did not have God now?
As I write this piece, I am exhausted. I am tired. I am hopeless.
Have you been there? When you wake up and feel that all your energy goes towards battling pessimism? Unfortunately, I am writing this because I am there right now.
I am blessed. I have an amazing wife, two degrees, a great athletic career, and live in the USA. However, right now that does not help much! I still feel tired and unsure. I acknowledge that I have blessings, but that doesn't do much to my mind and heart now.
Have you been there? It is hard to admit it.
I am actually mad. Why am I not further along? Why don't I have these opportunities that I believe I deserve? Foolishness... I know! However, it is what is in my mind, even when I smile and ask somebody else how he is doing.
The truth.
I have been doing my best to find a path, but I feel more lost than ever. Been there?
I thought I had a foundation to use while becoming an adult. Now, I feel weak and unprepared. Been there?
It is hard to not give in. However, I still have something that resembles a spark of hope in my heart. At least, I believe I do.
At these moments in which I feel that I am losing and cannot truly see the value of my blessings, I feel that someone cares and there is hope for better.
Am I delusional? I have faced phases like these throughout my whole life. Why should I think that it can be different going forward?
It's him.
I have a father that gives me hope. Is he playing with my mind? Am I crazy? Well... Let me look at some track records.
When J.K Rowling felt like that, did everything stay the same afterward? No. She created something amazing from rock bottom.
When you felt like that, did everything stay the same after, let's say, one year? Probably not. Did you meet someone? Did get better grades? Did you become a better person?
He says, "I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). He also said, "we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame" (Romans 5:3-5).
It is hard to believe that now. However, you, father, haven't failed me before. I am the only one that fell and moved away. So, thanks for being there in this hard moment. Without you now, I don't know what would it be.
So, now, how should I act then?